Archive for October, 2004

G.W. Birdy’s "one-fingered victory salute"

Thursday, October 28th, 2004

Watch G. Dubya flip the bird! courtesy of Texans for Truth.

Now, I don’t think this all that big a deal, but it’s always funny seeing Shrub let his much-suppressed inner Frat Boy out and getting caught.

Enjoy the Draft–The Videogame

Wednesday, October 27th, 2004

Play Enjoy the Draft!

I still think a military draft is highly unlikely, but, hey, w/ these nuts runing things in a 2nd term, anything is possible.

GNN debuts another Eminem video

Tuesday, October 26th, 2004

GNN debuts a follow-up to Eminem’s White America video they did a couple years back with Eminem Moshin’. Song’s not as snappy as “White America,” but you won’t likely be seeing this one on the EmTV, either.

Informed Dissent = Treason (I’m channelling Ann Coulter today)

Tuesday, October 26th, 2004

Earlier this month, GOP chairman Ed Gillespie of the Republican National Committee issued a cease and desist order to the Rock The Vote organization to stop posing the hypothetical situation of the draft as a ploy for its lucid efforts in getting young people to vote in the upcoming presidential election. Just recently, Rock the Vote President Jehmu S. Greene responded.

Rock the Vote Debunking the Myths about the draft and their draft info resources.

Blade: Trinity featuring TRIPLE H

Wednesday, October 20th, 2004

Blade 1 wasn’t terrible, but not all that great. Blade 2 was a pretty cool improvement (most assuredly due to Guillermo Del Toro), one of the rare sequels that surpassed the original. But, Blade 3 is looking pretty beat, especially ole’ Hunter there. Sure, Jessica Biel is hot (and if she sports a wife beater, here’s to hoping it’s not one of those cold-resistant and water-defying wife beaters she had in Texas). Each trailer I see for this makes me less interested in watching it.

Superman/Lois Lane

Wednesday, October 20th, 2004

I’ve never been all that into Superman, and I had very little hope that the new movie, if it ever happened, would be any good at all. But w/ Bryan Singer (X-MEN, X2) at the helm, maybe it won’t totally suck. They cast some soap actor as the Man of Steel, and I’m all for casting nobodies in superhero/comic book flicks. But, the real news is about who might be Lois Lane:


According to the scooper, these six actresses are presently frontrunners for the part of Lois Lane in SUPERMAN. In alphabetical order they are:

Mischa Barton (THE O.C.)

Charisma Carpenter (ANGEL)

Mia Kirshner (THE CROW: CITY OF ANGELS, 24)

Evangeline Lilly (LOST) <---[ding, ding, ding, we have a winnah!]

Natalie Portman (GARDEN STATE, SW: ATTACK OF THE CLONES)

Keri Russell (FELICITY)

I was pulling for Selma Blair back when she was all hot to do it, but please, please use EVANGELINE LILLY, Singer. The more we can see of her, the better, and she’s not too recognizable as anybody else yet. Charisma Carpenter would make a better Wonder Woman. Mia Kirshner looks too old (not that she’s haggard or anything, just looks too mature) and last time I checked Lois won’t need to be doing any naked, lesbian love scenes with Lana Lang or anything (although that might have improved the movie Nic Cage was going to make). Mischa Barton is bleh, even though she’s one of those “It” girls going right now. Keri Russel is eh. Natalie Portman’s stock has been slipping with each woeful Star Wars prequel, but she showed she could return to form as every fanboy’s wet dream in Garden State, so I’d put her at #2.

UPDATE: I guess there’s one more addition to the Lois Lane list: Amy Acker, castmate on Angel of Charisma Carpenter. I don’t know anything about that broad, though.

Slick Billy

Monday, October 18th, 2004

Why don’t people remember this tool used to be the anchor for Hard Copy? Hard Copy, people. I’ve read the naughty bits of both, and this deposition makes the Starr Report look pretty tame.

Jon Stewart on CNN

Monday, October 18th, 2004

Damn, this was great. Read the transcript or watch the video.

Also see the O’Reilly vs. Jon Stewart transcript.

These “real news” organizations are getting pretty threatened by the Daily Show these days. They get all bent out of shape over Stewart not “asking tough questions” when he gets the opportunity, but it’s pretty interesting that Daily Show viewers are more informed than people who watch Fox News.

Boss Bandit & Uncle Willie

Monday, October 18th, 2004

Willie, Burt, and the Duke boys

They’re doing some interesting things w/ the casting of that Dukes movie, that is for sure. I wish they woulda went w/ Knoxville for Crazy Cooter instead of one of the Duke boys. Luke Wilson as Luke, Owen Wilson as Bo, Knoxville as Cooter, Amy Smart as Daisy (but Simpson should be aiight–hope for God’s sake they make her a brunette), Vince Vaughn as Roscoe P. Coltrane, Will Ferrel as Enos. I don’t mind Burt as Boss Hogg or Willie as Uncle Jesse. Ashton Kutchner and Paul Walker cameos as Coy and Vance. Who does that leave? Shit, that would be funny. They better be using the original General Lee (’67-’69 Dodge Charger) w/ the Rebel flag intact too.

Speaking of interesting casting, how about those rumors John Woo is looking at Nic Cage for Skeletor in that new live action He-Man flick? Nic Cage must be really into the skeletal thing right now, since he’s doing Ghost Rider next.

Team America–Fuck, Yawn

Sunday, October 17th, 2004

Now there’s a movie for 14-yr-olds. Just old enough to stop watching Power Rangers and think humping naked puppets, puking, and lots of “fucks” and “shits” is hee-larious. Don’t get me wrong, no one has ever accused Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s brand of comedy as being any kind of intelligent. But after Cannibal: The Musical, South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut, I’m not so sure those guys can do a feature length movie without a lot of filler. Cannibal: The Musical was their first feature length movie, and that was actually way funnier than I ever expected it to be, but it also drags along and feels a lot longer than its running time. The commentary track might be funnier than the movie, too. Plus, the range of voices they can do is severely limited (watch Cannibal to see the genesis of many South Park characters’ voices) and Team America uses so many South Park voices it borders on distracting (Cartman as Kim Jong-Il?).

Now, criticizing these guys is a lot like picking on Special Olympians for not being able to compete in a normal track meet, but I was expecting something new (other than this being a puppet movie, there isn’t much of anything in here they haven’t done funnier and better in their South Park universe), and I expected it to be pretty funny. I mean, South Park is funny. The South Park movie was funny. This is mostly about as funny as Howard Stern throwing balogne at a stripper (so if that doubles you over in stitches, I guess there’s no point in discussing how funny this is w/ me). Sure, there are some chuckles (the puppet sex scene, the “America–FUCK YEAH!” song–at first), but it’s like it could have been a really funny short film. As a feature length work, it commits the cardinal sin of shock comedy that’s “just meant to provoke people”–it’s mostly boring. From the trailer, there seemed like this could be a pretty funny social satire, but I’m beginning to think Trey and Matt aren’t up to anything smarter than dick and pussy jokes.

And, in case anyone else was wondering why Michael Moore gets skewered so mercilessly after Matt appeared in Bowling for Columbine, here’s the deal:

They reserve their harshest treatment, however, for “Fahrenheit 9/11” filmmaker Michael Moore — but their disdain is as much personal as political.

Stone, who is from Littleton, Colo., agreed to talk about his hometown and the infamous high-school shooting there for Moore’s anti-gun documentary “Bowling for Columbine.”

“We have a very specific beef with Michael Moore,” Stone said. “I did an interview, and he didn’t mischaracterize me or anything I said in the movie. But what he did do was put this cartoon right after me that made it look like we did that cartoon.”

Parker and Stone still harbor hard feelings about that sassy, anti-gun cartoon because they feel it was done in “South Park” style. They believe the proximity to Stone’s interview misled some fans into thinking they had done the cartoon, even though Moore never said they did.

For this slight, Moore’s punishment in “Team America” is extreme: he’s depicted as a gibbering, overweight, hot-dog eating buffoon who straps explosives to his body to blow up the American do-gooders. The puppet was reportedly stuffed with ham when it blew.

I did always wonder why that cartoon looked so South Park-like, but Matt/Trey weren’t credited for it anywhere.

Also, their attitude on being informed and voting is just brilliant:


Overall, the movie is just meant to provoke people, regardless of their politics.

“That’s much more interesting than, ’Here’s what we think!”’ Stone said. “We don’t know anything about foreign policy or anything. We don’t know anything about anything.”

“We make cartoons,” Parker added, with mock feebleness.

In a recent Rolling Stone magazine article, Stone mocked hip-hop mogul P. Diddy’s “Vote or Die” registration campaign, saying he didn’t think “uninformed” people should be encouraged to go to the polls.

“My whole thing is I just wish uninformed people would just stay home,” Stone told The Associated Press. “If you don’t know who you’re going to vote for, there’s no shame in not voting.”

Personally, I’d encourage the “uninformed” to save their 8 bucks and spend the movie’s 100-minute running time getting informed. Hell, Bush’s antics are way funnier than most of this movie anyway.